I know you feel like our parents don’t give a fuck about you. I want to tell you that it’s natural; Our older brother and I have felt the same way too, that they value things about ourselves that we don’t see as important. Your Tumblr rants, I will forgive, because i doesn’t change how much I love you. I won’t argue about you working 1000x harder than us or that we screw around in college. I don’t care what you think about how we deal with college, for you don’t see what we truly experience until you go through it ourselves. I don’t want to go into detail. I just want you to know that we appreciate how hard you worked this year and all you’ve dealt with. No one said you worked any less.
But you cannot judge us because we choose to drink and experiment in college. In my opinion, you are more judgmental than you think you are. You need to release that when you get to college or else you’ll find very little friends regardless of what they choose to do. I want to try to understand you before asking you to understand us. Why are you so open with other people besides your own family? What are we doing to you that makes you so hateful of both of us, especially me, your big sister? How terrible have I been to you honestly? Let me know. I know I’ve screwed up in the past, but please just tell me. I want to be there for you, but if you won’t let me, there is so little I can do.
I also want to tell you to ignore Mom and Dad. Forget about them wanting you to go to UC’s. Although they prefer that you do go to a good school, they will get over you not attending one, okay? It’ll put a financial burden, but they’ll do your best to support you. We all will. You need to do what’s right for you. You also need to understand that going to a community or state college is no different than a UC except on how you make that experience. You need to understand that the difference between state and UCs are the fundings they’re given; nothing more, nothing less. Funding is the true root of the separation, and it sucks how it leads to that.
I will try to see this as typical teenage angst. But sometimes I wonder how long this has been buried within you. Actually, I don’t want to say within since you constantly barge about it on Tumblr, a place where it’s so easy to victimize and pity yourself. Learn to not fall for that Tumblr trap; as good as Tumblr is as a place to release all your inner emotions, you cannot depend on it for too long. Tumblr is but a text you created, sometimes with only one story. It is not good to delve in Tumblr for these moments. You need to talk to people about it, especially the ones you rant about.
You’re doing so well, my little sister. And I’m sorry that we never made you feel that way.
Sincerely,
Your Big Sister
